What Just Happened

Around about closing time last Tuesday at The Craftory I realized that it was getting dark outside earlier now that we fell back from daylight saving time. Change ain’t always easy is it, but I am appreciating a little more light in the morning as I get our little barbecue joint up and going. Anyways, I flipped the TV over to Election HQ on DirectTV where I could watch not one, but four channels at the same time displaying media members hyperventilating about the election. I thought this channel was a nice neutral option for election day news seekers. One could read the spin banners on the network that best fit their political leanings. See how accomodating I can be.

Naturally my eyes rotated over to the Fox News feed.


There was a little furry bandit there on the TV rummaging through a pile of garbage looking for a meal to steal. How prophetic was that. Those Fox guys…fair and balanced.

Michelle’s plan for the election day evening activities was to head over to Wild Spirit Yoga in Old Town and do some deep breathing. Yoga was not in my plans. I voted for pizza and a beer on the way home instead. I had assumed Mrs Clinton was going to win, so pizza, beer, and Big Bang Theory reruns was going to help me channel my inner self awareness.

Mellow Mushroom was a ghost town. Never saw it that empty. While waiting on my pizza I sipped on an Endeavor by Saint Arnold and couldn’t avoid the early returns on the TV. It looked like the race was going to be tighter than media pundits had led me to believe. Not that this should be surprising as our media has been pumping crap over the air waves lazier than cousin Eddie empties his RV.

cousineddie I changed my plans and asked the bartender to make my Pizza to go, because now I wanted to do some channel surfing on the friendly confines of my sofa. I made myself a nice tall whiskey drink and started to give the remote a work out.

First stop was CNN. They were discussing the blue wall, and Hillary’s electoral path even though Florida was looking close. When I saw the Florida panhandle counties were all colored red, I knew Trump had rednecks on his side. My blue collar brothers were showing up strong at the polls. Michelle is going to be so proud of her home county when she sees this is what I was thinking at the time. But the general tone from CNN was that Hillary still had this in control.

Next stop was Fox News…America’s Election Headquarters. Ha. There was a little different story being told about the returns over on Fox. The tone was of surprise, don’t get ahead of yourself, and holy crap Trump might win this thing. At first I figured it was Fox trying to suck me in for the evening, so I decided to surf over to something more liberal to balance out my information diet.

Next stop was ABC news and then Clinton’s old bud Sir George Snuffaluffagus. There was a very different tone at ABC by the time I got there.


The whole gang there at ABC was looking a little shell shocked. While they were still trying to make it seem unlikely Trump would beat Clinton, you could see how unpleasant it was for them that the dad gum facts just kept getting in their way.  It was then that I decided to camp out at ABC for awhile as this was truly must watch TV. Rednecks do love to see a crash at turn four in a NASCAR race you know. I grabbed a few double dark chocolate brownie cookies to enjoy while watching this dish best served cold. Beer, pizza, bourbon, and double dark chocolate brownie cookies is what can happen when left to my own devices.

The evening grew long, I began to get tuckered out, and I was facing the reality of an early alarm. Before I called it a night, I found another person that also seemed to be growing tired of electoral pathway analysis.


What’s not to love about a media election expert who just doesn’t give a shit anymore.

A final glance over at ABC revealed that confusion and disbelief was taking on a nastier tone.


In their best politically correct effort they were implying that dumb ass uneducated rednecks were deciding this race. Fist Bump. It was almost as if they were saying, alright people, if Trump wins tonight you need to set some stuff on fire so we have something to talk about tomorrow.

I went to bed still believing that Mrs Clinton was going to find a way to worm out a win, but when I awoke to the news Trump won I honestly couldn’t have been more pleased that the poster child for insider corruption lost this election. That’s how I feel about it all. I went out to vote against corruption.

I voted against corruption and pant suits.


2016 will go down as the great pant suit upset is how I’m seeing the historians telling this election year story in the years that follow.

I didn’t exactly rush out to vote for Trump, but I’m pretty okay with a Washington outsider getting a crack at draining the swamp. I am not a hating homophobic angry white bigot either, so just simmer down over there okay. A person is capable of voting against Clinton, admire women in office, and be able to welcome all walks of life to their place of business.

As the week unfolded demonstrators in cities around the country protested the outcome of the election. Losers all over just threw themselves a little hissy fit. They roamed the streets at night shouting: “not my President, not my President”.


Here’s how I see this. Demonstrations are very American. Knock yourselves out. I might listen if they make any sense. Violent protests weaken their cause. It’s very easy to get ticked off when you see a west coast college kid burn the flag. I’m tuning that crap out. I ain’t listening to that kind of silliness. The louder and more violent they get the less I listen.

About the only thing I’d prefer to not tolerate is bad behavior in a man. Don’t make me call in Captain Call alright.


I think its best to win with class and accept a loss graciously. It ain’t easy to do that I know. I’ve been on both sides but man, all us cats and dogs have got to get along.


We’re in this deal toghether folks. Might as well lean on each other a little more.

There’s been a lot of conversation about the electoral college and popular vote count, so I dug around a little.

The election was close. Dang near half and half, and I’m not talking about the milk & cream blending so well together. We are a nation tuggin in different directions on some pretty big things.

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by about 650,000 votes. She lost in Texas by about 840,000 votes. She won New York by 1.5 Million votes and California by 2.8 million votes. Clinton won New York and California by a combined 4.3 million votes. Yikes, but there sure is a lot of red on this map.



America has an Electoral College so bozos in New York and California can’t just take over Presidential Elections. I’m good with that.

Congratulations to all that voted. You participated in our national election process and that means something. Some of these states were so darn close. Every vote mattered.

At The Craftory, we have a three party system: Democrats, Republicans and Private.


We don’t have many private parties at The Craftory but we can chat about yours if your interested. Just ask us about it.

Saturday evening we roped off the outside patio for a nice rehearsal dinner.

We set up a serving station on the deck that worked out great.


They caught a beauty of an evening for it.


Things like that party is the important stuff. These are the things that really matter.

Here’s to keeping that in perspective.

Cheers! Scott

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