Chocolate can chill boiling Polar Vortex commentary


How in tarnation did I miss the term Polar Vortex all these years. Seems like every year a new term pops up out of nowhere and I feel like a dip stick for not hearing it before.

I have to admit, saying Polar Vortex is kind of fun. It’s not a term we toss around Houston too often, so I’m milking it. I’m sure things have been the opposite of fun for some people dealing with this arctic cyclone, so I don’t mean to make lite of peoples hard times.

A standard arrow in my quiver of conversation starters and fillers has always been: How about this weather? In business, I always avoided politics and religion. You just never know when you are stepping on someone’s beliefs. It is best to avoid these types of topics most of the time is what I was always taught.

Now weather off limits for friendly business chat too? Here lately it seems like the weather topic can become a weapon of civil conversation destruction.

Writing a news story about a crazy weather event like the Polar Vortex is a sure fire way to get folks all riled up. People from all walks of life will have an opinion or two about weather and/or climate change. It is a slam dunk online conversation hail storm waiting to dimple you to pieces.

The chocolate angle is coming, and it’s true.

This week I read a story in The Washington Post about how the Polar Vortex is caused by global warming. Then I just had to read a page or two of the comment section.

I feel as though I’m cheating myself out of people watching if I don’t at least browse the comment section.

Sweet Mother of Cacao, people are sure stirred up about this global warming causing the Polar Vortex story line.

The Polar Vortex even got the best of Al Roker’s common sense.

Roker dishes weather forecasts and twitter threats. Nice.

You have to admit. When it’s 21 degrees in Houston, blaming global warming is a tough sell. Some people will hear none of it. Some people will try to rationally explain the theory and science. Some will explain the science in a nasty condescending way. Some will say its all about money and politics. In fairly short order, someone is going to write something that is just plain mean, ugly, and not very useful. They’ll say something they wouldn’t say face to face. Guess they get frustrated or something.

Before the conversation gets really ugly I can help.

Chocolate is scientifically proven to make people less crabby and pissy.

It’s true. Don’t take my word for it. Check out this story. There really isn’t any need to have a debate about it. Chocolate will cheer up even the crankiest Comment Section Troll.

New York leads the USA in chocolate & crabby people. Can you imagine how crabby that city would be without chocolate? Manhattan would break. Credit goes to good Chocolate for saving New York.

If I could get online news commentators to nibble on some good dark chocolate before wading into the comment section maybe the commentary would be usefully spirited. With the added mental dexterity that chocolate can provide perhaps Comment Section Trolls would come to understand that most of us would rather they simply SHUT THEIR PIE HOLE.

Another case study opportunity perhaps.

Eat more chocolate people. Allow me to suggest our award winning“Capistrano” a 70% single origin dark chocolate made using cocoa beans from Madagascar. It has vivid red berry fruit notes that can linger before giving way to a milder base chocolate flavor.

This chocolate will make you happy. I promise.

Don’t test me Comment Trolls. Leave an obnoxious comment on my web page and I will moderate you into oblivion. I’m trigger happy that way.

Of course, if you happen to say something flattering then I can handle that. Go ahead and feel free to comment.

Cheers! Scott

Trackbacks & Pings

  • Cozy Start | Tejas Chocolate :

    […] wet cold working on you that can be hard to shake.  Although, I am happy to trade El Nino for a Polar Vortex any year, so my mild belly aching faded […]

    2 years ago

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