Isn’t It Odd
The events depicted in this story happened in Tomball, TX 2016. At the request of the survivors the names have been changed. Out of respect for the living the rest is told exactly as it occured.
On Wednesday, Bilbo Baggins left the friendly confines of his Shire on an adventure around Old Town Tomball.
His journey took him to a market nearby. Some hobbits will tell you, a foot out the front door can be dangerous business.
While Bilbo was answering the questions of one dealer about his work at Tejas Chocolate Craftory, a neighboring dealer intruded into the conversation with a flatulent statement: “isn’t it odd”.
This wasn’t a question at all. It was a condescending objection to the unknown, and it was an unwelcome rude interruption into an otherwise pleasant conversation with a neighboring merchant.
“Isn’t it odd” was a cast into the sea of unfamiliar hoping to set the hook into enthusiasm so that open mindedness could be gaffed and clubbed to death while looking down a very long condemning nose.
That is what trolls do.
But Bilbo ain’t afraid of nothin.
Except clowns. He’s very afraid of clowns, but that is a story for a different day.
Bilbo took the bait by returning fire with “is What odd?”. The Troll, and we know from unexpected journeys that trolls have a British accent, answered Bilbo’s question with “Isn’t it odd, chocolate and Mexican food”.
Just let that steaming pile of a statement soak in for a bit.
The next morning at work, Bilbo told Gandalf The White about the experience across the way in Old Town.
Gandalf told Bilbo that this biased observation of chocolate and Mexican Food says all you need to know about a Troll. Trolls have no interest in exploring new things. We will always be at war with Trolls. They might make me grey at times, but I’ve already decided what to do with the time given to me. Together, we shall let the many random acts of kindness displayed by our regulars define our day Bilbo.
While trolls leave their dark caves hoping to dampen the light of new & interesting and they run in small pods looking to ambush their unexprected prey, their numbers are dwindling.
You see Baggins, they are too dumb to come inside out of the sun. Curiosity and imagination has turned many a Troll into stone. They are crumbling away one by one releasing us all from their ignorance and condemnation.
Ask the Dwarves of Old Town what to do about Trolls and they will say ” lets have a drink and keep this new Old Town party going all night long. Party like a Dwarf in 2016 is the best remedy for such old world poppy cock.
The joy of Dwarves and Hobbits, the foodies of Middle Earth, is what Bilbo and Gandalf considered on a recent good morning converation about what constitutes a good morning.
Hobbits and Dwarves eat well, live long, and journey hard. Middle Earth Foodies embrace the new, and celebrate the proven. It’s the ordinary deeds of extraordinary foodies that bring light to Middle Earth.
We welcome them all to our Shire, and should a Troll come to the light then we will welcome them as well.
So what have we learned? We learned that we will feed even a Troll should they decide to open their mind, but I will also make fun of them until the end of days.
All week, in my own British Troll accent, I asked these questions to the amusement of Tejas Hobbits.
- Isn’t it odd that there are carrots in your souffle’
- Isn’t it odd that there is green barbecue sauce
- Isn’t it odd that a brioche is used for a barbecue sandwich
- Isn’t it odd that there is blue cheese on smoked brisket
- Isn’t it odd that there is coffee, cocoa, and ancho chili on a beef short rib
- Isn’t it odd that they call beef ribs short and never show you the long ones
- Isn’t it odd that someone will order extra lean meat to be sliced from the fattiest cut of beef
- Isn’t it odd that a pretzel is stuffed with brisket
Then I had this twisted thought while entertaining myself during a quiet morning while starting the fire in the Black October. You see, we are kicking around this chocolate laced masa for a pork mole tamale. I fantasized about taking one over to a Troll, putting them in a dark corner with a bright light in their face while saying something like:
We can make this easy or hard. It’s up to you. Tell me when this chair goes on sale or you are gonna have to eat this tamale made at a chocolate factory by a barbecue pitmaster and chef.
Hope that little day dream doesn’t make me a bad person.
The rest of the weekly
There’s more brisket in pretzel…
PretzTex delivered Romanian style stuffed pretzels with a 1/4 lb of our brisket inside. All gone is what they are. Both ours and the ones PretzTex sold at the farmers market. I think there is a trend happening here. I’ll break out the tea leaves to confirm. One thing for sure is that it is a pure delight to work with Anca. They seem to feel the same way in making something fun for us to enjoy.
The monsters were back in the display as the product of over active imaginations.
The butchers knife and candied blood was a nice touch. Our Old Town troll would have a melt down.
The flag out front signaled the arrival of a norther.
A cool front brought us most pleasant days to eat barbecue outside.
Great minds think alike when it comes to barbecue, chocolate, and eating outside.
The line on Saturday spilled out onto the front porch. Truth be told, it was about 20 minutes from the front door to a tray of barbecue. That’s faster than giving up on the line and going somewhere else. Just saying.
We thank all of those that came to see us from near and far. I love it when I get the question about what to do in Tomball or where to go shopping. Old Town is a destination where we are delighted to be a part of the story.
Let’s keep the pressure on these Trolls foodie friends, and party with the days we are given.
Cheers! Scott, Son of Scott