On my day off from barbecue I often like to barbecue.
I sometimes hear these conversations about what is and isn’t barbecue.
My view on the topic is that as long as I get to cook meat using a wood fire it’s barbecue. I like setting fires.
Cooking directly over hot coals is grilling. Slow cooking meats using indirect heat is smoking. Barbecue means that the meat was cooked with wood or charcoal. Barbecue can be direct heat grilling or slow smoking meats. That’s barbecue according to Scotty anyways.
The seared pork chop in the picture was tasty barbecue as were the grilled sweet yellow onions.
While I’m on the topic of onions, I wanted to mention that I like onions anyway you can present them to me. Raw, pickled, caramelized, grilled, smoked, in a salad, on a burger, with some barbecue, or in a Salsa Fresca like we do on Saturday.
If you haven’t grabbed a barbecue breakfast taco and a house made cold brew coffee from us yet you might consider doing so soon.
Before our day off backyard evening barbecue dinner could happen we had to hit the HEB for some inventory. After a tedious and boring grocery shopping session, I like to play grocery item Jenga on the conveyor belt.
Check out lady was not nearly as entertained as I. Michelle wanted to sign a form releasing our check out lady from HEB’s customer interaction policy so the nice check out lady could let me have it.
My job while grocery shopping with Michelle is to make it so painful that she will stop inviting me to shop for groceries with her is how I see it. I disappear with cart searching for free samples, I put stuff in the cart she doesn’t want me to buy, and I argue about what brands to purchase. It’s a solid day for us at HEB.
Some people know us as Mr. & Mrs Bickerson. We argue for sport and recover quickly. It’s our special talent.
Speaking of bickering…These two men rolled into The Craftory this week sharing with us some high quality neighborly insults.
Meet Bob and Bob. Better known as Dos Bobs.
I happened by while Bob was telling Bob how to properly order barbecue.
Turns out Bob moved into the house next door to Bob. Bob retired from Texaco as did Bob. Bob tells me that Bob has no idea what is good barbecue. Bob said that Bob wouldn’t know good barbecue if hit hit him in the face which would be an improvement to Bob’s face. There was no chance that Bob was going to buy Bob’s lunch.
Once Bob & Bob got their separate orders placed Bob went looking for a table. Table selection went something like this:
Bob- “what table do you want to sit at?”
Bob- “I don’t give a crap, pick one.”
Bob- “Okay, how about this one”
Bob- “I don’t like that table”
Bob- “Why not?”
Bob- “Can’t see the TV you dummy”
Bob- “Good point, I need something to look at besides your face”
I’m paraphrasing of course, but that was close to what happened. Dos Bobs said they came in second place at the audition for the movie Grumpy Old Men. If Bob would have told Bob to pull his lip over his head and swallow I would have lost it.
I kid of course. They did agree the barbecue was great and that they’ll be back soon, but without Bob next time. It’d be better for the digestion that way according to Bob.
A web cam on Bob’s street could make for must see streaming video.
There was no arguing that on Wednesday Chef Greg and Hobs rolled out monster barbecue sandwich.
That’s a half pound pile of moist cut USDA Prime grade brisket, braised crimini mushrooms, caramelized onion, horseradish cheddar, and green onion aioli on a toasted Kaiser roll.
Holy brisket Batman.
We wrestled a little with what to name it and in a pinch I called it The Primary. I was thinking of the “chief importance” meaning, but the name did ring a little political. Screw that is what I decided. The Craftory is a safe haven from arguing about politics. Fork Lift would be a good name for this sandwich because you’d need one to get it back to your car if you ate the whole thing alone. The sandwich weighed in at a little over a pound.
Since Prime does mean “something of the best possible quality”, I think we’ll stay on that theme. The Tejas House Prime has the appropriate ring to this substantial sandwich.
Didn’t see any one person eat an entire House Prime yet. Rama almost got there but there was some bun left on his tray. The Parker’s split one. Heath claimed he could have knocked down Shelly’s half too. We shall see about that. Mostly we saw people sharing it with their special someone.
Bob thought about splitting one with Bob, but he said Bob wouldn’t eat his half right.
The House Prime requires full use of both arms, so we had to deny it for Bryan and this delightful lady who’s name escapes me at the moment dang it. Sorry about that nice lady. Please don’t use your good arm to whack me next time you see me.
She did say “you should see the other dude”.
Another new Truffle rolled into the rotation this week.
Michelle made a Key Lime white chocolate ganache.
She finished if off with a dark chocolate coating and a key lime cookie. The new Black & White key lime white chocolate truffle is a rich delight.
Another full moon week scooted on by.
Kids looked out windows, moons sets were observed, Phil’s ginger plants showed life, and briskets were sliced.
We can bring you some barbecue when needed. Just holler at us. The catering menu is here.
Back to our day off when Michelle treated Handsome Gus and Cooper Brown Dog to chicken strip nirvana.
Our Veterinarian said to us once that dogs either eat to live or live to eat. We happen to have one of each. Handsome Gus will crush a chicken strip at warp speed. Cooper Brown Dog on the other hand will savor the moment. He’ll grab his smart phone and post a picture with some tasting notes on his Northside Foodie Furries Facebook Page. Then some of the furry members will argue about whether or not the chicken strip is organic and cage free. Some of the dogs will threaten to boycott the chicken strip makers and promise to never go there again.
Me, I’ll treat my self to taco happiness instead.
Pork Belly on a warm corn tortilla dressed they way I like placed me in a peaceful spot.
Hooray for bacon our way. You can order these just about everyday. Pork Belly has made it onto the daily available meat board.
July has been hot, humid, and a little slower than June. We’re learning a thing or two with our first summer in business. There are a couple of summer things you’ll want to know about in the weeks ahead.
August 5th is Tomball Night. We are staying open until 9:00 PM, and we will have a slider special for you. I’ll remind you on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Our front yard is a great spot to watch the fireworks at the Depot. I’d grab a lawn chair and a beer if was in your shoes.
We will be closed August 14th – August 22nd. We’re going to take a little time off during a period when both the chocolate and restaurant business tends to be very slow anyways. We have a busy fall coming to restfully prepare and ramp up for.
Thanks to all who ate with us the week. We look forward to seeing you all again soon.
See you around the hood.